To watch or not to watch - that is ter question. Super \bowl sunday is the day just about EVERY american sits in frnt of a television - sipping beers and munching on junkfood. Ohhh, I can taste those nachos and beer just thinking abouyt it. Me? I'm stuck in the middle . . . The original plan was to go to the sports pub, lieterally in the middle of the nighjt (we are 6 hours ahead), but he loose assicoaite sof expats who I am still in touch have, one by one, dopped like flies by the wayside. While I am tempted to go to the pub by myself (big screen TV, chicken wings and greasy bar food, beer on tap!) the image of myself sitting alone at a bar trying to make friends with the other tables (jokers to the left of me clowns to the right, here \I am stuck in ythe middle with [me]) is pathetic enough that \i don't entertain sucj thoughts for more then a day and a half.
It is now Sunday after lunch and I am now firm in my convistion that I shall be disciplined and not be a loser and go get drunk and eat junk food ayt some sports bar in the middle of the niht. I will do at home, instead. To prepare I two bottles of wine, one rose and one white) into the ridhge. Normally I would go for red - it pairs better with the super bowl - but I have rand through my "collection|' since stocking up pre-holidays. I have a cheese plate set aside in the fridge. Time to go sit in the man chjair and make sure it will serve its dutiful purpose later this evening.
When one is a travelling salesmen like my self (ok, i'm a consultant but it seems as muchj the same thing) who has to typically get up an go some where on a monday that ol sunday afyternoon-ythe weekend over - work is going to suck - how can i prolong ignoring work feeling is extra strong and can put me in a sour mood. Thsi week is different thank goodness. |i will be home on \monday and tuesday, conveniently arranged due to busness meetings, stratgically placed on |Monday afternoon and tuesday mid morning. Further more I am buffeted by my knowldeg of two bottle of wine in the fridge and the fours of mind numbing testoterone fuling NFL superbowl action ahead.
But there is just something about sunday, perhaps prgrammed into me that just makes me start thinking about work.Maybe its because when your out and about everyne else is more or less in he same boat. Monday's coming coming and the sunday morning hangover hasn't quite faded so brows are a bit morefurrowed and shoulder a bit slupmed and so on. Anyways, somhow, despoite knowing I have postponed the inevtable trip to the airport by several days work becmes its typical districting self.
Normally when I think about work I think about all the stuff \i haven't doneand have been ignoring, then i typically remember the two or three urgent e-mailsi totally forgot. |I have an urge to take notes or thumb away on my blaclberry, buyt I can't because i\'m driving or haveing a family meal, or doing whatever it is I am supposed to be doing. In theis case, as my wife politly reminds me, it is to hang star wars plansets on my older sons bedroom sealing (|Ia lready did this but we hd to redo his room amd so \i need to do it again. I ned to tae down the gurad rauils on his bun bed (sinec it is no longer a bunk bed). And take the boys to get a haircut. The younfer one is happy to do it the older is somewhere between despondent and catatonic by the time I get him into the car. I make a deal with him. |You can tell the lady how much you want to get it cut. I start to get angry when the lady snaps hers sceiscors literay half a dozed tome before my son declares the job well done and oiver. |I truy to nefpotiate with both, |From her I get a shouldr shrug. She helpless. I know the feeling. Calling home to try to get my wife to sort it out. After a feeble effortwe gve iup and go home, convinced in our mind we (meaning my wife) will manage better some tmeleter next week (after I am long gone)>.
During all of thios there a bank ground buzz going n in my hed whichj is pretty much Like Am talk radio. Voices are a lowe murmer and then someone voives is raised, maybe an ocasioal laugh, generally an barley audable hum somethuining this. Why are we doing blaha blah, blah when will we blaha balag is that your blahh blagg, hey didn;t we say that blah blah ah fuck it blahaha ha he's such a blah blah blad oh, heyt \i gt this gfreat idea blalh blah oh shit the e-mail to what;s his bla.
Today its more pointed reflection. What the fuck happened (to our teams financial performance)?! is it ius that sucks donkey meat?! Is it me that suck donkey meat?! if the amswer is me then wher does that leave me? What will my legacy becopme|? how will the trajectory of my carrer luck to the journalist cover current events and more important the historoan writing for thegates> will they fire me? when will they fir me? Wait we alredy started firg people- who's nexy?
OInce in a whil it happend when this am radio goes in my head that a theme errupts and oits like the knowb on the stero is turning and it goies al wherwhawherewherwhawha and some how turms into FM radio. In this case it turms out that I am driving the car an actually listening to \fM radio and it's enough to quite the AM talk radio in my head. The sone is Gerry rafferty and stealers whell singing stuck in the middle.
How appropriate excliam the am radio host in my head and then a somehow the mumbel jumble gets cleere. Yes tom you are stuck in the middle just look at you. Physically you stuck n this place called central |Europe. you a loitte bit east o the rich but unintersing western european countries (cjokers to the left) and the big eastern counries (clowns to the right). Could hat be the root cause to your faiure. Well tom maybe it could be. \do youthink to\m its the only thinhg, well tom knotha ou asl it probably isn't and probaly some self reflection, individual and clleftive would be a good thing. But what would really be the result of that, what would change, tom that a greta oont acrually nt at muchj. Czechj, Slovai and hugary would still of course remain piss nat countries with a combined GDP of new jersey and it would be tough to make a living . . .
Tom (contines nmy am tal sjow host in my head) how will you manage your carrer. you have a nice job, a nie title, etc. but look aroud you, look at all uour friends what hey have a cheived. hedge fund managers prvate equity cheifs, entrpreneursjournalts authors, award winning motiational speakers, muscians, stand up comediams, doctors, laweres, fully liscend professors with letters after their name. Heck everyine lese face book and linked in page is cooler then mine. Face it I'm a dweedb.
Then I start taking inventoryu of all people I loosely knw to se if anyone is somehow not perjed abopve m in the climb to the summit of the LOOK-AT-ME-ISN'T-MY-LIFE PERFECT moutain. Of curse it easy to ind people who have failed where i haven't. divorced, no family, sputtering carrer, laid off, overweight (more then me at least), overweight spouse, or even worse (as much as I want to I just won't go there). And ashemedly this dies temporarily boost me. Heyt tom look at you, yor life and everthing in it is pretty damn good. look where yu are. you are clining that mountain and making pretty good progress . But still after looking down and looking again at my immediate surrounfng \i look up again and remind how I ma still just stuck in themidle.
It is now Sunday after lunch and I am now firm in my convistion that I shall be disciplined and not be a loser and go get drunk and eat junk food ayt some sports bar in the middle of the niht. I will do at home, instead. To prepare I two bottles of wine, one rose and one white) into the ridhge. Normally I would go for red - it pairs better with the super bowl - but I have rand through my "collection|' since stocking up pre-holidays. I have a cheese plate set aside in the fridge. Time to go sit in the man chjair and make sure it will serve its dutiful purpose later this evening.
When one is a travelling salesmen like my self (ok, i'm a consultant but it seems as muchj the same thing) who has to typically get up an go some where on a monday that ol sunday afyternoon-ythe weekend over - work is going to suck - how can i prolong ignoring work feeling is extra strong and can put me in a sour mood. Thsi week is different thank goodness. |i will be home on \monday and tuesday, conveniently arranged due to busness meetings, stratgically placed on |Monday afternoon and tuesday mid morning. Further more I am buffeted by my knowldeg of two bottle of wine in the fridge and the fours of mind numbing testoterone fuling NFL superbowl action ahead.
But there is just something about sunday, perhaps prgrammed into me that just makes me start thinking about work.Maybe its because when your out and about everyne else is more or less in he same boat. Monday's coming coming and the sunday morning hangover hasn't quite faded so brows are a bit morefurrowed and shoulder a bit slupmed and so on. Anyways, somhow, despoite knowing I have postponed the inevtable trip to the airport by several days work becmes its typical districting self.
Normally when I think about work I think about all the stuff \i haven't doneand have been ignoring, then i typically remember the two or three urgent e-mailsi totally forgot. |I have an urge to take notes or thumb away on my blaclberry, buyt I can't because i\'m driving or haveing a family meal, or doing whatever it is I am supposed to be doing. In theis case, as my wife politly reminds me, it is to hang star wars plansets on my older sons bedroom sealing (|Ia lready did this but we hd to redo his room amd so \i need to do it again. I ned to tae down the gurad rauils on his bun bed (sinec it is no longer a bunk bed). And take the boys to get a haircut. The younfer one is happy to do it the older is somewhere between despondent and catatonic by the time I get him into the car. I make a deal with him. |You can tell the lady how much you want to get it cut. I start to get angry when the lady snaps hers sceiscors literay half a dozed tome before my son declares the job well done and oiver. |I truy to nefpotiate with both, |From her I get a shouldr shrug. She helpless. I know the feeling. Calling home to try to get my wife to sort it out. After a feeble effortwe gve iup and go home, convinced in our mind we (meaning my wife) will manage better some tmeleter next week (after I am long gone)>.
During all of thios there a bank ground buzz going n in my hed whichj is pretty much Like Am talk radio. Voices are a lowe murmer and then someone voives is raised, maybe an ocasioal laugh, generally an barley audable hum somethuining this. Why are we doing blaha blah, blah when will we blaha balag is that your blahh blagg, hey didn;t we say that blah blah ah fuck it blahaha ha he's such a blah blah blad oh, heyt \i gt this gfreat idea blalh blah oh shit the e-mail to what;s his bla.
Today its more pointed reflection. What the fuck happened (to our teams financial performance)?! is it ius that sucks donkey meat?! Is it me that suck donkey meat?! if the amswer is me then wher does that leave me? What will my legacy becopme|? how will the trajectory of my carrer luck to the journalist cover current events and more important the historoan writing for thegates> will they fire me? when will they fir me? Wait we alredy started firg people- who's nexy?
OInce in a whil it happend when this am radio goes in my head that a theme errupts and oits like the knowb on the stero is turning and it goies al wherwhawherewherwhawha and some how turms into FM radio. In this case it turms out that I am driving the car an actually listening to \fM radio and it's enough to quite the AM talk radio in my head. The sone is Gerry rafferty and stealers whell singing stuck in the middle.
How appropriate excliam the am radio host in my head and then a somehow the mumbel jumble gets cleere. Yes tom you are stuck in the middle just look at you. Physically you stuck n this place called central |Europe. you a loitte bit east o the rich but unintersing western european countries (cjokers to the left) and the big eastern counries (clowns to the right). Could hat be the root cause to your faiure. Well tom maybe it could be. \do youthink to\m its the only thinhg, well tom knotha ou asl it probably isn't and probaly some self reflection, individual and clleftive would be a good thing. But what would really be the result of that, what would change, tom that a greta oont acrually nt at muchj. Czechj, Slovai and hugary would still of course remain piss nat countries with a combined GDP of new jersey and it would be tough to make a living . . .
Tom (contines nmy am tal sjow host in my head) how will you manage your carrer. you have a nice job, a nie title, etc. but look aroud you, look at all uour friends what hey have a cheived. hedge fund managers prvate equity cheifs, entrpreneursjournalts authors, award winning motiational speakers, muscians, stand up comediams, doctors, laweres, fully liscend professors with letters after their name. Heck everyine lese face book and linked in page is cooler then mine. Face it I'm a dweedb.
Then I start taking inventoryu of all people I loosely knw to se if anyone is somehow not perjed abopve m in the climb to the summit of the LOOK-AT-ME-ISN'T-MY-LIFE PERFECT moutain. Of curse it easy to ind people who have failed where i haven't. divorced, no family, sputtering carrer, laid off, overweight (more then me at least), overweight spouse, or even worse (as much as I want to I just won't go there). And ashemedly this dies temporarily boost me. Heyt tom look at you, yor life and everthing in it is pretty damn good. look where yu are. you are clining that mountain and making pretty good progress . But still after looking down and looking again at my immediate surrounfng \i look up again and remind how I ma still just stuck in themidle.
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